Over the years, I have been the most impatient person I know. This can be broken down into many categories but the one that springs to mind most readily is reaching the end of pregnancy. When people asked me how far along I was I was always tempted to round up to the nearest month and in hind sight, what purpose did it serve except to make it seem more acceptable that I was so large! I still had to wait for the fullness of time. My last pregnancy was the most frustrating. I did everything to bring on that birth: walk up hills pushing a toddler, castor oil, granted – he was a couple of weeks overdue but it was my last child, I should have been used to that. A couple of nights I thought I’d gone into labour only to find the next morning that I’d fallen asleep and was still heavily pregnant. The circumstantial reasons for my impatience were valid in my eyes. I was tired, had other children to care for as well as being past my due date but that baby wouldn’t be hurried up! (he still likes to do things in his own timing!) but it wasn’t really about the baby or the tiredness, it was about me and my impatience. I’ve mentioned before about being given opportunities to be patient when we need to grow in that area but what about the long haul?
There are some seasons or situations that just seem to last eternally. A job we’ve outgrown, a difficult time in a child’s life or development. For me right now, I have several things going on which I feel I’ve been living with for so long it’s hard to remember a time without them but I’m reminded of the scripture in Psalm 138 ‘though I walk in the midst of trouble, you will revive me’. It is my opinion that there are a few things we get caught up in here: the particulars of the issue, the duration of time the circumstance lasts and how we see our ability to survive it. But here’s the thing: in our minds each one of those issues has the ability to sink the ship but the sinking factor is not in the circumstances, as much as in the way we think about them.
Every so often, if we let him, God will give us a fresh wind. A 2nd 3rd or 4th wind if we need it. More strength – a fresh outlook on our situation, a revival of sorts. As a believer I do believe that God won’t give us more than we can bear but often we crumble or hear of those who crumble under the weight because we don’t feel sustained. There is nothing wrong with feeling like we can’t go on or even crying out and asking or wondering how much longer we can be expected to endure. I’ve pondered on these questions many a time – during childbirth (ouch!!), raising a family, doing a job you know you are called to that’s nonetheless difficult. All of those emotions and questions come, and then some! But I’ve found that on the other side of that I’ve not only gone on, I’ve gone on for longer than I ever would have believed I could had I known the duration at the outset. No, I’m not superwoman but I do trust in the power of the God I serve to bring me out of a situation that he allowed me to enter into in the first place. That’s where my hope lies, that’s where my strength comes from.
As I Was Thinking 