I am finding the need to examine my reactions more closely the older I get. Many negative reactions arise from frustration and impatience. We are quick to say ‘well I am frustrated because he did that or she didn’t do this.’ Or ‘I am impatient because that took way too long’ or ‘he didn’t do that quickly enough’ or ‘she didn’t understand me when I said … etc. These statements put the responsibility for our reactions and responses firmly on external circumstances or somebody other than ourselves but here’s the thing: we are the ones reacting and our reaction is our concern and no one else’s.
I had to do some real soul searching after being impatient with my mum when she wasn’t responding as I thought she should to an instruction I thought was straight forward. Who was at fault? Me, for making it all about me! In hind sight my expectation should have been, we will get there eventually. How long and how we’d arrive at the desired destination shouldn’t really have been the focus but I just wanted to get the task done. By the way, I’ve had ample opportunity, yes – ample opportunity to learn this in 25 years of raising children and 8 years of assisting and teaching children with severe special needs yet here we are and I’m talking about it! So, note to self:
Approach each situation with a measured expectancy realising that we are not in control of how long something will take to be learned or achieved. This is often easier to champion in children rather than adults. Another adult’s reaction or level of understanding, if it does not mirror our own can be challenging, especially when we think they should know better. We are only in control of our own responses. Allowing time and room for error in our attempts to do what needs to be done will make life all round easier and less stressful.
p.s. before we covet or pray for patience it should be noted that the answer will often come in the form of opportunities for that patience to be tried and tested. Hold that thought!
As I Was Thinking 