Reflections on a caring season

Most of us are nurturers, many of us carers in some form.  One of my care roles has been for my mum who has lived with Alzheimers, increasingly, nigh on 10 years.  As she lives through the latter end of her life it goes without saying that her care needs have increased and we as a family have adapted to meet those changes.

This past year I stopped working outside of the home completely as her needs increased and shielding from covid dictated.  In many ways it has been my hardest care year yet but, as I write, I’m focusing on giving thanks for my situation.  I have, in waves, wrestled with depression, exhaustion and the desert of a very familiar and often sad daily landscape but the other side of that has been time to reflect and appreciate my blessings not least the fact that I am able to take the time to care for her.  Today I’m focusing on the small things – not the biggies like health, covid free family, food on the table and a roof over our heads though they are always worth a mention but the detail.  Things like: I can take a breather and pull up the duvet and write this in bed knowing that I’ve left mum comfortable and peaceful downstairs.  I went shopping for fruit and veg this morning to continue the juice cleanse I’m doing.  I had a car to do it and I could pay for the fresh produce without having to think about whether I could afford it or not.  If I want to read a book ‘cos its cold and windy outside – I can.  I can take a shower in my own time because I’m not rushing off to work, I can look around my home and appreciate all God has provided.

Yes it’s been a long and difficult season, perhaps the most difficult of my life but I am reminding myself that it is a season and seasons, by their very definition change.  For every season there are blessings and small things to appreciate if you’ll stop and notice them.  I’m learning to appreciate the moment –  the cup of coffee, the nap the personal quiet time – even if it is just for a few minutes.  Winter seasons draw us towards appreciating simple pleasures.  The hot drink inside.  This season is doing that for me.  I won’t be here for ever but while I am I want to find some things to savour and enjoy.  The other day I watched the remake of ‘papillon’ and in one scene he was brought a coconut every day, just for a while, but that coconut was everything to him whilst he was in solitary confinement.  A thought provoking and poignant reminder that if we look for the blessings in hard situations we can always find something.